8/10/08

On Diebold and Draft Beer

punditman says...

Like all humans, Punditman requires sustenance. This requires money, or at least the illusion of having it. And like most globalized citizens trying to stay afloat in a sea of chaos and unease, he usually gets it via his ATM access card. (Note: To add a modicum of pleasure and sanity to his hectic life, he is also known to sample local craft beers).

So this morning Punditman drove his broken-down gas-leaking jalopy to his neighbourhood ATM, in an attempt to drive his self further into overdraft. Much to his chagrin, the machine was "temporarily out of service."

It was at this point that he noticed something he had never before observed: he was speaking about himself in the third person! -- just like Tricky Dick Nixon did in his last drunken days in office (and just like Peaecenik does on this blog...hmmm). More to the point: Punditman also noticed the word Dieobold engraved on the ATM machine -- and though he was not yet caffeinated -- he still was awake enough to know this was a bad sign in more ways than one.

For all he knows, Diebold could have been stamped on every ATM machine he has ever used for the last twenty-five years, but being a concept-based learner, Punditman is not known for being all that visually observant, as confirmed by those close to him. He then went to two other ATM locations, only to find the same "out of service" message. It was at this point that Punditman verified a distinct pattern. Punditman now believes that the rot in the US economy has finally spread north and that his bank has actually run out of money. Until such time that cash once again magically flows into his debt-ridden hands through the wonders of drive-through technology, he will keep believing this.

Punditman then waxed philosophical about a bygone era, when the outcome of a Superpower's elections could not be determined by a black box voting system run by corrupt, corporate criminals who just happen to be connected to the corrupt, corporate incumbents in the White House -- and who just happen to run the software and ATM services from which one's very life blood flows.

Punditman also recalled a time when he got his beer money from a bank teller and when he ran out, he had no *overdraft* ;-)